The other day I realized that I'm the typical older mom. I'm overprotective, I'm overly concerned and I just know too much.
I've always shaken my head a bit when I saw the typical 30ish first time mother who seemed stressed and insecure all the time. And suddenly I've realized that I'm one of them (even though I'm not even 30 yet).
I've read too many books about pregnancy and babies. I've googled just about everything there is to know, and instead of giving me the strength and knowledge I need to take care of a newborn, it's made me insecure and unable to rely on my instincts.
I was talking with my own mom when it suddenly dawned on me that I'm exactly what I thought I wouldn't be. I mentioned it to my mom, and she said, that she had thought the same thing just before I had said it out loud. She had been thinking that it's really different having your first child when you're 18 than when you're 29.
I get so angry with myself when I stress about EVERYTHING instead of seeing all the sighs that clearly states that everything is all right. Adam seems happy and content. He rarely cries (but when he finally does cry I think that everything is wrong and that I'm failing as a mother), he eats, he gains weight, he delivers several "good" diapers every day, he sleeps 3-4 hours at a time... so why is it that I'm constantly afraid of not having enough milk?
Sigh! I love my life as a new mother, but I just wished I would take it easy and trust my instincts.. because so far, I seem to be doing just fine.
3 comments:
Sådan er det bare når man får sit første barn. Det kan godt være det er anderledes hvis man er meget ung, men jeg fik Samuel midt i tyverne og jeg var også meget stresset over alt muligt. Jeg ved så også godt at det er nemt nok at sige "bare slap af; det går det hele", men det passer altså ;) Du er garanteret en hammergod mor; du har i hvert fald læst godt på emnet og jeg ved du er en kllog kvinde med en masse sund fornuft, så "det går nok det hele"...!
Han ser i hvert fald dejlig ud, og det er godt at høre at han vokser godt. Og skulle du så en dag ikke have mælk nok, så vokser børn også på modermælkserstatning. Nyd det bare nu - inden du får st dig om er de for store til at sove i dine arme....Og når du får barn nummer tre er du for træt til at stresse. (Meget i hvert fald:)
Mange knus!
Hvor er du sød, Nathalie. Men jeg er nu sikker på, at Adam har det som blommen i et æg (og den skulle jo efter sigende have det super godt).
Hello. I was reading CJane's blog and saw your name in her comments section. My maiden name is Evensen and I know my grandfather (Edward Martin Evensen) came to the United States directly from Norway. I was just curious to know if you may know him or his family?
You can write to my email address at pvan35@hotmail.com
Patsy Evensen VanSchoick
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